Texas Mortgage Company

Texas Mortgage Company - Put On Your Ten Gallon Hat

Here in texas, we like our meat raw and our women pregnant. It's hard to find a place to store your meat and women though, which means you have to get yourself a house. Houses are a great place to let your woman be pregnant and refrigerate your meat before you eat it. Un-refrigerated meat can lead to intestinal parasites which hurt like hell. But to get a house, unless your daddy owns an oil company and will buy you the White House, you need to get a mortgage. That means you have to go down and talk to a Texas mortgage company. These are nice people and their offices are big. Everything in Texas is big. The savings a Texas mortgage company will get you on your mortgage are big too.

Texas mortgage company - give them your best shot

Guns are allowed in the offices of every Texas mortgage company. This is because in Texas believe guns are good and as essential as air. Children are given shotguns with live ammunition to play with from an early age. This teaches them how to shoot a gun so that they won't blow their heads off. Blowing your head off is a common occurrence with guns. You'll find that a Texas mortgage company won't blow your head off with their guns. They'll just get your a mortgage on a great big Texas-style house.

Texas mortgage company - country music and executed criminals

Texas is a fun place to live. We execute so many criminals around here we need special landfills to put the bodies in. These are called evilfills. Evilfills are a good example to aspiring criminals that we will hunt you down and kill you should you choose to hate America and commit crimes. Death is a punishment for even the smallest crimes, like jaywalking. A Texas mortgage company will see to it that you can stay in Texas for years to come.

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